


you lack tact, but i love you for that

by JuniperTrees



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry potter Hogwarts mystery
Genre: F/F, F/M, Getting Together, I mean, Ismelda being a jerk, Potions, What else is new, genderfluid Rowan Khanna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 00:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniperTrees/pseuds/JuniperTrees
Summary: A little honesty never hurt anyone.Or, you know, Merula has feelings too.





	you lack tact, but i love you for that

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on my phone so be prepared for many typos!!!!  
> not beta-ed

* * *

You hear rather than see her coming. Her boots are loud, and they make a satisfying clunk as she walks down the hallway.

 

You were expecting her anyhow. There’s no way she would have missed your absence in potions.

 

“You missed potions today. Skipping class?” Merula sneers, looking eager to hear any information that could incriminate you.

 

You blink. “Oh. No.” You wave her off nonchalantly and she swats your hand out of her face. “I dropped that class.” You explain.

 

Merula, oddly, is speechless. Her eyes are wide, and for a second, you detect a hint of disappointment before her features smooth into a frown. “What?”

 

You shuffle awkwardly. “I.” You gesture at yourself. “Dropped.” You mime dropping something. “Potions.” You enunciate while pretending to stir an imaginary cauldron.

 

“I know that.” Merula snaps, pushing you as her eyebrows furrow together into a scowl. “Why?” She asks after a pause.

 

You don’t want to tell her it’s because you have better things to do. She’ll probably find some way to find out, so you just shrug instead. “Wanted to get away from you.” You answer.

 

Merula’s features go slack. “Oh.” She says, and you look at her curiously. There was no trace of her usual malice, and her voice had sounded trepid and small. Merula tilts her head so her hair covers his face and you peer at her, confused. It’s not like you said anything extraordinarily mean.

 

After another moment of silence, you clear your throat and glance down the hallway. “Um,” Merula looks up slightly as you talk, “alright then.” You nod before you head back to your dorms as fast as you can.

 

* * *

 

You have Care of Magical Creatures a couple of hours later, and you can immediately tell that Merula is in a sullen mood.

 

“Hello.” You say as you sit next to her, giving her a weird look when she recoils.

 

“What?” You ask when she glowers at you.

 

“Didn’t drop Care of Magical Creatures now, did you?” She mutters almost indistinctly so you have to strain to hear.

 

“Well, no.” You answer, giving her another weird look. “Why would I?”

 

She glares and you decide that maybe today isn’t the best day to have a conversation.

 

“You’d have to see me, wouldn’t you?” She says darkly, and you give her an awkward smile because you don’t know what else to say.

 

She stays like that for the rest of class and refuses to cooperate even when you ask her to.

 

When you meet Charlie to go to Transfigurations, he takes one look at Merula and says, “Not having a great day, is she?”

 

You murmur your agreement as the two of you walk down the hall.

 

* * *

 

“Merula is mad at me.” You declare when Penny and Rowan sit down next to you in the courtyard.

 

Penny scrunches her nose. “Merula? What for?”

 

Rowan adjusts their glasses and pulls out a chocolate frog. “Isn’t she always?” They say, clearly disinterested in the conversation.

 

Ben walks over, books cluttered in his hands, stray pages falling all around the ground. “H’lo.” He says as his wand clatters on the floor.

 

“Hi Ben.” The three of you chorus absentmindedly. You bend over to pick his wand up and he mumbles a thanks as he takes it.

 

“What are you talking about?” He asks once he’s set his books down.

 

“Merula’s mad.” Penny says.

 

Ben stiffens and his eyes flit across the courtyard. “At who?” Even though he won’t admit it, he’s still scared of her, though he’s gotten considerably better.

 

“Not you, Ben.” You say quickly and he visibly relaxes. “She’s mad at me.”

 

Ben frowns. “I thought she was always mad at you.”

 

“Mmm.” Rowan says through a mouthful of chocolate frog. “That’s what I said.”

 

“Point is,” you cut them off abruptly, “she seems angrier than usual. She ignores me all the time.”

 

“I thought that was a good thing.” Penny says, knitting her eyebrows.

 

“Agreed.” Say Rowan and Ben.

 

“Really now,” You scowl. “I’m trying to talk!” You glare at them as they laugh before quieting. “I feel like I did something wrong.”

 

“What did you do then?” Penny asks.

 

“I dunno. She hasn’t talked to me in a week.”

 

“A week?!” Rowan spits out a part of their frog. “She is mad.” When no one says anything, they continue. “I mean, she’s always chasing after you, isn’t she? A day doesn’t go by without her coming after you to say something.”

 

You bite your lip. “Why, though? I didn’t say anything-oh.” You fall silent when it dawns on you.

 

“What?” Penny demands. “What did you say?”

 

You’re still unsure if this is the reason, but you start talking anyway. “She seemed upset that I dropped potions. And when she asked why I told her it was to avoid her.” You look around at them. “But it can’t be that, right? I’ve said much worse and she’s never seemed bothered by it.”

 

“Merlin’s beard.” Penny groans.

 

You snap your head towards her. “What?”

 

“You probably hurt her feelings.” She explains. “You’ve said meaner things but you’ve never really targeted her. Like, you’re always ‘stop bullying my friends’, and ‘you’re not the best witch at Hogwarts’, and ‘stop being so conceited’. You know? You’ve never actually been mean.”

 

You turn to see Ben nodding furiously. “Well,” you sputter, “I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I couldn’t even tell she was hurt.”

 

Penny sighs. “Yes, but you still hurt her feelings. Face it, when it comes to reading other people, you’re not the best at it.”

 

“What?” You shout. Ben winces and you lower your voice. “What does that mean?”

 

Rowan swallows their frog. “Like that one time that boy from Beauxbatons hinted ar wanting to dance with you at the Yule Ball, and you asked him if he had indigestion.”

 

“Or that time we met Ben’s mum at Hogwarts station and she wanted to buy Ben some new robes and asked for your opinion. You know, those ugly bright orange ones.” Penny offers.

 

“Well, I wasn’t going to hurt her feelings.” You say indignantly. “The robes weren’t that bad.”

 

Ben smiles sheepishly before mumbling, “they were really bad.”

 

“Or that time-“ Rowan starts but you stop them before they can finish.

 

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry, okay?” You say.

 

Penny puts a hand on your shoulder. “Oh, we’re not mad. We’re just saying that when it comes to reading nuances, you’re not very...” she trails off, searching for the right words.

 

“Articulate.” Rowan finishes.

 

“Articulate.” Penny repeats.

 

You scowl again. “Why excuse me, then. What am I supposed to do about it?”

 

Penny shrugs and holds out her hand as Rowan breaks off a piece of her frog. “We’re not very good with people like Merula.” She pops the chocolate into her mouth and chews thoughtfully. “Maybe you should ask her friends.”

 

“They’re hardly her friends.” Ben mutters and you glance at him. He blushes before adding quickly, “but yes, you should ask her friends.”

 

You sigh and lean on Rowan who is now sharing their chocolate frog with Ben. “I don’t understand why she gets so angry at me, though.”

 

Rowan hums. “Well, she does fancy you a bit.”

 

A beat of silence.

 

“What?”

 

* * *

 

The library is quiet when you walk in and head over to the corner Ismelda usually studies. You didn’t particularly want to ask her, but Ben was right. Now that you think about it, Merula doesn’t have many friends.

 

You’re surprised to see Barnaby sitting sit with her and you drop your books on the table.“‘Lo, Barnaby, Ismelda.”

 

Barnaby beams. “Hello!” He says cheerfully as he moves over so you can sit down.

 

Ismelda grunts and eyes you suspiciously through a curtain of hair.

 

“So, I was wondering,” you start, but you cut off when your cheeks start to flush. It’s an embarrassing question to ask, afterall. Barnaby looks at you expectantly, and even Ismelda stops writing her paper. “Does Merula have a crush on me?” You blurt out.

 

Ismelda stares at you and you expect laughter and heckling. What you do not expect is the way Barnaby nods and goes “yes” without any forethought.

 

You blink, stunned. “Really? Like, like-like me?”

 

Barnaby nods. “Yes. Since first year.”

 

You look to Ismelda who just grunts.

 

There is a silence punctuated by quill on paper.

 

“Oh.” You say.

 

That is when Merula decides to join you. She pulls out a chair and slides onto the seat without giving you a glance, and you wonder if Barnaby was telling the truth.

 

“What are you doing?” Merula asks.

 

“Talking about your crush.” Ismelda says nonchalantly, having gone back to writing.

 

Merula flushes, and her eyes flit to you for a brief second. “I don’t like anyone.” She says hastily.

 

Ismelda puts her quill down and rolls her eyes. “Oh, drop the act. She already knows.” She nods at you for good measure.

 

Merula whips around in her seat so fast her hair whips Barnaby in the face.

 

“What?” (“Ow.” Says Barnaby.)

 

“She figured it out.” Ismelda gives you a look. “Finally.”

 

Merula smacks her on the arm hard enough to send her parchment flying. “I don’t have a crush on her.” She whispers furiously. Then she turns to you, still extremely red but voice more firm: “I don’t have a crush on you.”

 

Ismelda rolls her eyes again. “Yes, she does.” She says.

 

“Yes, she does.” Barnaby echoes.

 

“I don’t!” Merula nearly shouts and Madam Pince comes swooping in with an angry _shhh_!

 

“Do too.” Ismelda retorts, completely ignoring how Merula has started to turn a dangerous purple. “She writes about you in her secret diary.” From the look on her face, she is clearly enjoying Merula’s suffering.

 

“She has a secret diary?” You ask, a little in awe. “Can I read it?”

 

Merula’s lower lip starts to tremble, and you realize she’s on the verge of tears.

 

“You don’t have to.” Ismelda interjects. “It’s just ‘oh, why won’t (name) pay attention to me, how will I bother her now that she’s dropped potions, she could never like me, she hurt my feelings today’.” Ismelda mimics, her voice an octave higher than usual.

 

Merula slaps a hand over her mouth before hissing out “I don’t sound like that!” Her voice cracks between the sentence and she stands up so abruptly her chair tips over. Then she storms out the library doors without looking back.

 

“Ismelda,” Barnaby says as you stare after Merula in a stunned silence, “that was mean.”

 

Ismelda just scoffs and goes back to writing as Barnaby continues to reprimand her. You don’t hear the rest of it because you’ve gotten up and gone after her.

 

Merula is stalking down the empty corridor, and her sniffling echoes down the hallway. She must hear you coming from behind her because she looks back and starts walking even faster.

 

“Merula!” You call, but she doesn’t reply. She all but sprints up the stairs and you barely catch her time, grabbing her by the wrist. “Merula,” you say again, but she just scowls and tries to shake you off.

 

“Go away.” She hisses. You shake your head and tighten your grip. When she realizes you aren’t letting up, she just stands still and stares at the ground. You pretend to ignore the tears dripping down her face.

 

You’re not sure what say, so you just say the first thing that comes to mind. “You have a secret diary?”

 

Merula sniffs disdainfully and manages to look even more miserable. She mutters something under her breath and you lean in to hear her better.

 

“What?” You ask as she leans back.

 

“Stop making fun of me!” She yells and then she does wrench her hand back and run.

 

You’re about to let her go, before you remember what Penny said. ‘ _You’re not too good at reading nuances_ ’ and you think about what you would do in her situation. She’d probably want you to run after her. That is, if she actually likes you.

 

You take the stairs two at a time and grab her again. “Merula, wait, wait.” You implore and she does. She still won’t look at you, but at least she’s listening. “I’m not making fun of you.” You say, which just seems to make her angrier.

 

“Yes, you are!” She insists, back to not listening.

 

“No, i’m not. I was just surprised.” This doesn’t seem to appease her. That’s when you realize.

 

“Oh.” You say and she stops struggling. “You’re upset I didn’t tell you I like you too.”

 

Merula finally fully looks at you and you’re finally realizing that you are bad at reading people, but you’re getting better.

 

“I like you too.” You say when Merula doesn’t react.

 

When she still doesn’t move, you kiss her very quickly. Merula seems to snap out her stupor and she scowls, but somehow also manages to look very happy at the same time.

 

“Oh.” She says.

 

“Yeah. Oh.” You repeat.

 

* * *

 

Later, when you’ve successfully sneaked into her dorm, you riffle through Merula’s things and actually find her secret diary.

 

“What are you doing?” She asks, hair tousled and looking very flushed.

 

“Apparently,” you say, grinning extremely wide, “you think I smell like treacle tart and sunshine,” you flip to another page as Merula splutters and makes a grab for her book. “And you’ve written poetry about me!”

 

You get ten points taken from your house when they catch you wrestling with Merula on the floor, but the look on her face is completely worth it.

 

* * *

 

When Penny catches Merula vehemently glaring at you, she gives you a look. “What’s gotten her so worked up?”

 

You shrug, but you can’t keep the smile off your face. “She’s mad at me again.”

 

Penny sighs. “Need more advice?”

 

“Nah,” you reply, blowing Merula a kiss, “i’ve got it.”

**Author's Note:**

> it’s been a month and my love for Merula is stronger than ever  
> sorry for the shitty title, i’m just churning out works because i love her so much


End file.
